"To much negativity can kill you and your life experiences."
"...when we judge or criticize another person, it says nothing about that person; it merely says something about our own need to be critical..."
That was the year that I decided to take a look at how "MY LIFE" was going and where it was headed. I found out that I was headed in all the wrong directions. I put out some negativities too, but it wasn't completely my fault. So I will not take all the blame for the things that happened and the way they happened. Read on.......You need to understand what it "was" like to be in my shoes.......many people don't know and don't understand.....but when you have been hurt & traumatized so many times your in life it causes problems..............then can kill any relationships that you have with family, friends, spouses, and so on. So please read on and to view what it "was" like to be in my shoes for awhile:
The truth will set me free. There is a truth about who I am, where I have been and the experiences that I have had. But I had to hide from painful experiences of my past, because to face the reality would destroy the fragile myths that I had built to preserve my sanity and my spirit.
The sadness is though, that the myths and fantasies that I used to hide from my pain, eventually became a prison that kept that pain inside me and prevented me from setting myself free.
The truth of who I am and where I have been is my reality. Real recovery from emotional wounds of being traumatized in my past can only begin when I was ready to feel the emotions and listen to the story that my inner child wanted me to hear.
Whenever I had uncomfortable feelings I found it difficult to control, I know that my inner child was trying to tell me something. But in listening to my inner child and acknowledging the sadness and the wounds, I began the journey to put away the myth and replace it with the truth.
I was struggling with past flashbacks of being hurt due to childhood trauma and some adult life trauma, of people getting mad at me or some sorta negative reaction. My reaction was based on a defense mechanism based on repeated past events that psychologically wounded me. These past events occurred in childhood and some in my adulthood, that is when in my mind I had to develop methods to protect myself from the actions of the adults in my life, in order to remain emotionally intact as possible. I stored my childhood coping mechanisms and I used them whenever a situation occurred that felt similar to the original wound. When the wounds are repeated often enough, my defenses became habitual and it continued in my life.
"Do not feel Lonely.The entire universe is inside you."
I decided it was time to get out of this rut I was in. I wanted to get rid of all the hurt from being traumatized throughout my life and to get rid of all this anger inside me. At times I felt like everyone was out to get me, I felt like I wasn't special to anyone or the things I did. People never understood my reactions to things that were said or done to me back in those days. The worst thing that happened was something that I love so dearly was taken away from me because of something that I did and many didn't understand. You'll never completely understand what it is like to have been in my shoes, unless you were in those shoes. During Christmas in 2010 a lot of things happened that really shouldn't have happened in the long run. Things could have been handled a different way. It has been said that people who love you and care for you have to often guide you and tell you when you go wrong...
They choose being thought of as your enemy even when thinking the best for you...
Because they know that in the end even if it makes them wrong, you will be the best in what you do.. Be wise enough to know that in who you think as your enemy actually lies your very best friend.... That year gave me a BIG wake up call!
These negative reactions that "had" happened, made me take a step forward and get a good look at what was really going on in my life. I had so much hurt and negativity in my life. With all the health issues that I have, boy I didn't need those things either. In fact I believe that some of those traumatizing memories were some of my anger and they caused me to hurt emotionally and physically inside of me. I still have health problems but I manage them better now. I decided it was time to take my life for a good positive turn and start the healing process.
Real happiness is inherent... I am not dependent on anyone to make me happy...The real happiness is there inside me if I am content, I know that there is nothing that is impossible for me and whatever my conditions are I am capable to handle it on my own..That is when my happiness becomes part of my being...Be happy...That's what the whole point of living is all about. I have this whole life ahead of me and I decided I needed some help to heal. "Memories" are always there because they are programed in our minds, they cannot be erased. But you can take a step forward to change how you feel about it and learn ways how to handle it. Those memories will be just there and cannot harm you anymore. Your life goes on and you are the only one that can make it better for yourself by being happy and love yourself!
"Live for today, in the present. The past is the past, The future isn't here yet."
All about me presently: I AM "me", kind and loving... I see beauty in myself and reflect that love back to everyone I meet today...
My views on life now and see my changes: (Wait till you see me in person - my attitude on life is different!)
We are not the person we were yesterday, but it is the experience we gained through all our yesterday's, that has created the person we are today. Holding onto the hurts of the past, whether given to you or caused by you, prevents you from seeing those moments for what they truly were - your greatest opportunities for growth. No-one is bad, although they may do bad things. No-one does anything that they feel is wrong at the moment in time when it happens. Life is full of experiences, designed for our spiritual growth. It's the way we view those experiences that defines us, and not the experiences themselves. Don't allow your past to continue to define who you are, otherwise it will define your future too.
Everyone has wounds. You might be afraid to get close, afraid to be alone, afraid of being hurt, afraid of being controlled or afraid of being abandoned. These are your wounded places. Your strongest reactions come from your deepest wounds. Observe your reactions today and start to take power away from your negative self-talk.
Today, take back your power. Give it its rightful place inside you. There is nothing outside of you that can make you any less or any more. It doesn't matter how many times someone tells that you are wonderful, you'll only feel wonderful when it comes from inside you. We are all unique and wonderful and have our own gifts to share.
I have always been know to care about how others are feeling before me. I have this nature to be there for others before I took acre of myself. In this journey I learned that you need to love yourself before you can love another. I have to say this right now. "I LOVE ME!!"
Today
Now
&
Forever!
THE REAL MEANING OF LOVE
In the days of ‘Love Story’, love may have meant never having to say you’re sorry, but today we might define love rather differently.
If we were with someone who kept doing something damaging, but thought that they didn’t need to apologise for their behaviour, would we think of this as love or class it as abuse?
When we truly love ourselves, we will be ready to truly love another.
When we no longer look to another to give us self-worth, we will stop needing them and start loving them.
Love means to love yourself enough that it no longer matters what anyone else says or does. We can like it or dislike it, but we will no longer take it personally, because it no longer affects our self-worth.
At the end of the day, it all comes back to one thing – self-worth. When we have that, we start to see life and love in a completely different way.
LOVE is a gift and not a bargain.
LOVE cannot be bought; it can only be given and received.
LOVE brings with it, peace, joy and happiness.
LOVE is who you are, not something you own.
LOVE is a decision you make to value yourself.
When you truly LOVE yourself, you can truly LOVE another.
LOVE is the path to find ourselves and also the journey home.
If you want to change your life, then start moving in that direction. Have faith and start walking in the direction of your dreams ...
There is a certain comfort in just being able to be ourselves. As co-dependents, which most of us are to one degree or another, we spend a lot of time thinking about other people rather then ourselves. We worry about what they think of us. We worry about what they are going to do, because it may affect the way we feel about ourselves. we focus on their problems, because it is easier then focusing on our own. It is said, that when a co-dependent dies, someone else's life flashes before their eyes. Being comfortable in our own skin is something that only happens when we start the recovery process. Over time, we change the focus from other people to ourselves. We learn to look after our own needs and to set healthy boundaries for others people's behavior. When we accept ourselves for who we really are, we enable others to accept us for who we are. no-one minds where you have been or has any interest in who you think you are. all anyone really wants is to be able to be themselves and know that by doing so, they are also accepted by others who can then be themselves too.
Co- dependency happens when we allow our self-worth to be determined by outside events or other people. Some of us do this by becoming people-pleasers who needed to be liked and tend to put the needs of others before our own, Others learn to control and manipulate their environments to protect themselves from emotional pain. If our wounding was very severe, we may need to dissociate altogether from our surroundings and create a world in our mind where we can live free from pain of reality.
Whatever method we chose, we are all reacting to similar emotional childhood wounds. Our personality and individual experiences determined which particular survival mechanisms we adopted, but we all spend our lives in reaction until take control and begin our to live our lives out of choice.
Today, take back your power. Give it its rightful place inside you. There is nothing outside of you that can make you any less or any more. It doesn't matter how many times someone tells that you are wonderful, you'll only feel wonderful when it comes from inside you. We are all unique and wonderful and have our own gifts to share.
They say that people come into our lives for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. But there are some people who arrive, that we instinctively know, will change our lives forever. If someone like this arrives in your life, you’ll know that you are being taken on a life-changing journey from which will never want to return. You’ll also know that you are absolutely ready for that journey.
In our Life we want good things for ourselves...
And while we can focus on our own sel in our entire Life's story there should be a few pages for others too where we wish and want good things for them....
These pages of our story can be one of the most fragrant and beautiful pages of our Life....
The grudge that you might be holding against someone makes you a prisoner of it's negativity....
You are stuck in a rut with only negative thoughts to give you company...
Free yourself of all that holds you captive or brings you down...
Look into your heart, it has enough love that you can spread around...
When I hear the word 'healing' being used, it suggests to me that we must be 'sick' in some way, otherwise why would we need to be healed? I firmly believe that we are not sick at all. In fact, I believe that some of us have had to become experts at surviving from one day to the next, and in doing so, we have had to develop our own coping mechanisms to exist in an often hostile world. So when people tell us that we are co-dependent and need healing, what they are really saying is that we are survival experts, but that the coping mechanisms we are using need an upgrade to some that will work better for us than the old ones we are currently using. So, look at your 'gut reaction' responses today and ask yourself if they might be ready for an update.
I have NO reason to be nervous going to live in AZ again. My family should have no reason to feel this way either. I am very confident about myself.
I have been told take of you first.
I did!
&
I applied it to my life!
In the end my parents while they were here seen MANY changes in me and they are so
PROUD
of me and the changes I have made for "Me"!
