What is Forgiveness?

THIS IS A LONG BLOG 

Please read to the end

(the end of it has a person standing)

We all need to understand what forgiveness is and what it isn't. Forgiveness is "the act of setting someone free from an obligation to you that is a result of a wrong done against you." 


For example: a debt is forgiven when you free your debtor of obligation to pay back what he owes you. Forgiveness, then, involves three elements: injury, a debt resulting injury, and a cancellation of debt. All three elements are essential if forgiveness is to take place.

When someone gets really mad at you, it is like throwing a heavy chain around your neck or casting a strong fishing line at you and snagging you with a hook. You feel the crushing burden and pain of what was done to you. The longer you hold on to your anger, the heavier the burden becomes -- the more deeply the hook sets in. 


The results of not forgiving is the pain that you initially felt from the offense is only made worse by your choice not to forgive. Your efforts to get back at your offender by remaining angry or ignoring the other person, you are actually bringing torment to your own soul. You suffered from acts of the abuse, verbal words, emotional trauma, and neglect, vise versa if you have done the same to the other person and now you are suffering from bitterness. For some sick reason we think that staying bitter or ignoring is part of getting back at someone who has hurt us, but it is only hurting ourselves. 

"Never pay back evil for evil to anyone...Never take your own revenge, beloved, but leave room for the wrath of God, for it is written, Vengeance is mine, I will repay," says the Lord. "But if your enemy is hungry, feed him, and if he is thirsty, give him a drink; for in so doing you will heap burning coals on his head." Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.  Romans 12:17-21

The only way you are going to be free from the past issues, yesterday's issues, or today's quarrel's that is to forgive. When you do so, you throw the chain off your neck and pull the hook out of your flesh. You will then be free,though you maybe still emotionally wounded. Healing will still need to take place, but the good news is now it can, because the wounding agent has been removed through forgiveness. 

"The LORD is near to the brokenhearted and 
saves those who are crushed in spirit" Psalms 34:18

You maybe are asking, "What about the offender?" "Why should I let him/her off my hook?" That is precisely why you should forgive, so you will be no longer hooked to him or her.The people we forgive are off our hook, but they are not off God's hook until they come to Christ for their own salvation, forgiveness, and cleansing. Tragically, some will never come to Christ. In that case, the person that does evil against us will discover that you will be judged by Jesus Christ the righteous Judge.

Forgiveness IS a painful process, but it is the only way to stop the pain. Left unchecked, you will often seek revenge. If that is not possible, we will rationalize our attitudes and actions, and seek other options. 


Forgiveness is not:

• justifying, understanding, or explaining why the person acted toward you as he or she did.

• Just forgetting about the offense and trusting time to take care of it.

• asking God to forgive the person that hurt you.

• asking God to forgive you for being angry or resentful against the person who offended you.

• denying that you were really hurt; after all, there are others who have suffered more.

There is nothing wrong with having compassion for the person that offended you. What was done to you was wrong, no matter what reason or excuse the person might have for doing it. You still need to make the choice to forgive. TIME (under the grace of God) may help heal all wounds, but it will not remove the crushing chain or piercing hook of the offense. These are only removed when we forgive. 

By the Grace of God, over time our memories of sins committed against us will fade. We should not feel guilty if we still remember them, but we shouldn't dwell on them, or our emotions will be stirred up again.  When we FORGIVE, we will find that the sting is gone, even if the memories are not.  Our memories will not be filled up with the pain and torment before we forgave them.

Some people think that forgiveness is impossible, But whatever God has commanded us to do, we can do by His grace. We are to forgive as Christ has forgiven us. For some of God's people who have not been hurt severely and who struggle with only mildly anger, the thought of forgiving others is no big deal. It's like walking up a small hill. But for the others who have been terribly hurt and abused and who have been harboring festering anger for years, the thought of exercising forgiveness maybe thinking like climbing Mt. Everest. It seems an insurmountable peak. Whether it is small or a mighty mountain, Jesus Christ Himself will make the climb with you, every step of the way.  and freedom and exhilaration are well worth the climb! 

Jesus said you need to forgive others "from the heart." If you just say the words "I forgive you" but don't really mean them, they are meaningless. Forgiveness comes from the heart, which is the core of our being. Only in the heart do the mind, emotions, and will come together. Forgiveness has to come from here, the core of our being. If you say I forgave my brother or sister, but I can't seem to stop being angry with him or her." In reality, you haven't forgiven him or her at all, because you haven't dealt with the core issues of forgiveness. 

Nothing good can come from holding on to our anger and bitterness. 

"A grudge is the only thing that doesn't get better when you nurse it." Ephesians 4:26-27 

tells us not to let the sun go down on our anger - we need to how to properly handle our anger, if you don't think before you speak, it can hurt others and relationships. If bottled up inside, it can cause us to become bitter and destroy us from within. We need to deal with our anger immediately in a way that builds relationships rather then destroys them. if we nurse our anger, we will give Satan an opportunity to divide us.Are you angry with someone right now? What can you do to resolve your differences? 


Don't let the day end before you begin to work on mending your relationships. 

How do I forgive someone?

Begin by confessing to God your sin of harboring anger and bitterness. Then make the choice to forgive. Don't say "Lord help me to forgive." He is already helping you. And don't say, "Lord, I want to forgive." Say "Lord, I forgive..." 

Something like the following: 

Lord, I choose right now to forgive (name) for (specifically say what this person did to hurt you), which made me feel (express to God honestly the emotions you felt). 

Conclude your forgiveness something like this:

Dear Lord, I choose not to hold anything against those who hurt me, Thank You that I am forgiven for my anger and bitterness. I now ask You to bless those who have cursed me. I give up my right to seek revenge, and I ask that You would heal my broken heart. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen. 

Once you have finished this process, give thanks to the Lord. Spend some time praising and worshiping Him for His grace in setting you free. 

Dear heavenly Father, what can I say that you already don't know? And yet I feel that I need to confess my thoughts and feelings. I have been hurt in my life, and I felt it was my right to pay back those who hurt me. It felt good and it gave me some temporary relief. But Lord, I have been decieved. I didn't fully realize what I was doing to my own soul, and I certainly didn't realize what I was doing to You. Now I see the sin, my sin. I was wrong in thinking that two wrongs would make a right. Thank You, once again, for Your grace in forgiving me. I receive it. Now I ask for an even greater grace to forgive those who hurt me. I know that is what You want me to do. It is what I need to do, because it's right. Thank You that Your grace is sufficient, even for this. In Jesus' name I pray, amen.