I believe we all as a human being get into arguments, bitterness, fights, and quarrels with people in general, not just family, but all sorts of people. I believe the worst part is when family members are fighting with each other. You know you love them but sometimes you can't stand what they said to you or what they have done too you, and vise versa. I know I love my family members very much and I hate it when we have our quarrels. Then life becomes just one big disappointment after another. Life will not always go our way, and people will not always respond to us they way they should, but that is not what determines who we are. Sometimes we like to think that we alone have the right answers and hold our ideas and beliefs to be true, and are willing to go to great lengths to prove we are right. In the end in all this, most of our ideas and beliefs separate us from others more than they bring us together, then we wonder why we all can't get along and we feel trapped and we can't stop thinking about it. All in all these things are extremely stressful to family, friends and people in general. Simply said - time moves on, we grow older, we hold on to our own beliefs as if they will never change.
So what happens next? We punish ourselves, and others, if they cannot go by our rules, their not getting their way, and expectations. We make judgements on people, that we have no right doing. When you are angry at someone or they are angry at you, you sit and grumble in your chair and you think the worse of the other persons. Sometimes we experience anger because when we have been genuinely hurt. Everyone has inherent sense of justice, this is what they believe what is right or wrong. just look at what happens when one person's idea doesn't agree with the other person's idea of right and wrong. If you both have strong convictions it will eventually lead to a heated if not angry exchange.
Some people say "That isn't how you were raised."
Let's look at this - Look at how a person was raised, they are their own "Me"person and they meet another "me " person. Just like family for instance everyone has their own "ME" personalities. We may have been raised a certain way but we all have different souls and we are not all programmed as with the same belief systems. We have our own personalities. So there is completely several different personalities all going on at once. So all those programs cannot run all at once without causing conflict, or better yet, I call this a "set of rules"
Simply said - we treat others as children, and if someone breaks the rules and doesn't listen to them. Then that is when someone else feels the need to make sure those rules are kept and feels the need to bring that other person back in line. Most of the time people punish the one that they love in order to bring them back in line, otherwise you can no longer talk to them, see them, they start to tell you not to come around and etc. See many people believe in only their own beliefs, so they create their own realities, their own little worlds. So people that like to punish others for not listening to them and doing what they ask of them, they cause not only suffering for themselves, but also like to make others suffer as well. "They got mad and yelled, so I took away something that they love the most, so they know they have done wrong." When a person feels a need to punish someone for getting angry, this is a main form of violence on their own part. I have thought about this long and hard and have found that this indicates that one person feels the need to "correct" or "keep the order in control." That is manipulative and considered as abuse on themselves for punishing the others for speaking their own minds.
There is always another case where someone feels like you just don't fit into their basket. So let's look at this - In this basket people find it hard for certain people to fit into their world or their realities, others have to have the same feelings about things as themselves, otherwise you are not compatible to them. So what happens if you are not compatible, you end up arguing or fighting over something that is right or wrong, this is the very cause of war and family violence. "If you would only do what I ask you to do - then we would just get along fine." Picture this, you see yourself as who you are. Now picture the other person of who they are and how they see the world. What do you believe is the likeihood you both see the world the same way? Better yet, does the other person see the way you see yourself, or vise versa? I bet each person has a different view of what the relationship should look like. This ALWAYS happens. NO one will see the same way. We all live in a world that expects you to look a certain way, act a certain way, and believe certain things in order to fit in.We all have been so busy dealing with certain sets of beliefs, we have all forgotten the most important aspect of our lives - what we are really like on the inside. We have our outer body "flesh" and we have our inners "our soul. What is on the inside of the person and their soul is what counts the most. They are free to be themselves.
There is no crisis in life that we cannot go through. "With God all things are possible."
Life is more than a collection of events or belief systems. In the end, life is what we make of it. We can cut the strings of certain belief systems, like for instance "Pinocchino", or remain the part of the mindless collection of people who are suffering inside, unable to see past a set of events, their family hurts and anger, culture, or their own thinking. We are more then that. So much more.
"The way you treat others is the way you treat yourself. True respect for another comes from self respect. True love for another comes from self love. True forgiveness for another comes from self forgiveness."
The only way to stop the pain is to pray and forgive (next posting in my blog)
Dear heavenly Father, You word is living and active, sharper then a two edged sword. It divides even between my soul and spirit and judges the thoughts and intentions of my heart. In the the past/present I have sometimes winked at my fleshly anger, while at other times I have been painfully aware of it's presence and power to hurt. In either case, I have not taken a radical stand against my unheathy patterns, thus allowing unrighteous anger a continued presence in my heart. No more! I want my heart to be pure, Lord, because the only pure in heart will see You. And that is what I want more than anything else. So, having seen my flesh for what it is, I choose not to turn away and hide or forget. I choose to instead to acknowledge You, Lord, inviting the full expression of Your holy power to tear down these strongholds. In Jesus' mighty name I pray, amen.
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